Doing Our Best: A Toltec Approach to Staying on the Path
By Jean Rothman

Although there are many different spiritual paths, there are many similarities between those among us who walk them. A frequent commonality seems to be the challenge of staying focused on our goals. Doing the work it takes to wake up from the illusions of this world and consciously choosing a new way of life takes effort, determination and discipline.

Because of lifelong conditioning, old habits die hard, pulling one back into what some traditions call being “asleep,” where we lack conscious awareness. Maybe we do not feel like meditating one day. Perhaps we feel that letting go of old attachments is “too hard.” Or we think that there is “no time” to do some spiritual reading, yoga or some other self-enriching practice. Whatever the reason, it is all too easy for us to fall back into automatic behaviors that do not support our search for a more authentic, joy-filled life.

In the book The Four Agree-ments, Toltec master don Miguel Ruiz proposes an agreement we can make with ourselves that helps us not only on a spiritual path but in all of our endeavors. “Under any circumstances, always do your best, no more and no less,” writes don Miguel. Initially, this advice seems simple enough. But, giving it further consideration, what does this statement of intent really entail? In a recent interview, Toltec-wisdom teacher Ed Fox agreed to delve a little deeper into this fourth agreement.

“There is an important behind-the-scenes process going on when we try to live this agreement,” Fox said. “First of all, we have to be aware. Without awareness, we cannot know what we are doing. So we start doing our best by first practicing awareness.” Then, if we make a mistake, we will be aware of it – even if we cannot stop ourselves. “You may be stepping into a hole, but at least you know you're stepping in the hole,” Fox said. “If that is the best you can do at the time, you know it.”

With awareness, we can learn from our mistakes and keep practicing. With time and practice, we become better able to avoid the pitfalls such as blame, self-pity, anger or whatever else is serving as an obstacle in our paths. But if we judge ourselves when we fall into the hole – and trap ourselves by feeling stupid, bad or dumb – then the judgment becomes another hole into which we have stepped. It is here that the expression of the fourth agreement can be tremendously freeing: If we know we have done our best, we cannot judge our effort harshly.

If we have kept true to the agreement to always do our best, then when that old sense of having failed arises, we can detach from it and tell ourselves, “Oh, I see that I have started running my old programming. I'm aware that I am feeling blame (or anger, jealousy or whatever).” Interrupting the judgment and the self-guilt allows us to forgive ourselves because we know that we did our best. “According to all the great spiritual masters, we need to forgive ourselves and love ourselves,” Fox noted. “But you cannot forgive yourself if you believe you should have done something better.”

Another important factor in keeping this agreement is to remember that our best efforts will be different at different times. “For example,” Fox said, “Our best is different when we are sick or when we are tired. In fact, our best varies from moment to moment as life continually moves and changes.”

What about doing more than our best? Should we not push ourselves as hard as we can, whether it is in our job, a relationship or spiritual practice? Not at all, according to Fox. “When you do more than your best, you overdo and spend more energy than is necessary. Eventually, this depletes you and leaves you open to more self-judgment and frustration. By doing no more and no less than your best, over and over, you become a master of transformation.”

Many of us will find that support from a spiritual group or community can help us to do our best. “I think there are several ways that being in a group can help us with this agreement,” Fox said. “If we listen to another person sitting in the circle with us, and we can forgive them and love them as they are, that provides an opening to ask why we can't do that for ourselves. If we recognize and accept someone else's best, why not accept our own?

“Being with a group also helps us see ourselves more clearly,” he continued. “When we meet and share openly about what's going on in our lives, we see that we're no different from anyone else. We're not better than anyone else and we're not worse than anyone else, no matter what our internal dialogue has been telling us.

This new perspective can help us do our best by reminding us of our intrinsic value, of that spark that we all have inside us as our birthright from the Divine.”

Ed is forming the Cleveland Wisdom Circle for people who would like to study the Toltec teachings in more depth. For more information, call (216) 321-2616.