The Gift of a Graceful Disposition By By Karen Allgire, MFA, RYT

    Many of the holidays that occur around the winter solstice have a tradition of gift giving. The end of the year also is a time for reflection. We think about all that we receive from others and offer a tangible representation of our love and good wishes. From a yogic perspective, the most valuable gift we can bestow is the way we treat others, from our dearest friends and family members to strangers we pass on the street. The way we relate to others stems from our inner attitudes. The dark of winter is a potent time to bring these feelings into the light of awareness and transform them into the highest views possible.

   Patanjali's Yoga Sutras offer perennial wisdom about the perspectives we can adopt regarding others. Cultivating positive states of mind helps each individual to overcome any obstacles to experiencing inner peace and harmony. In Alistair Shearer's poetic translation, Sutra I:33 says,
The mind becomes clear and serene when the qualities of the heart are cultivated:
friendliness toward the joyful,
compassion toward the suffering,
happiness toward the pure,
and impartiality toward the impure.

    In Sanskrit, these four qualities are known as maitri, karuna, mudita and upeksa. Together they bring cittaprasdanam, translated as “graceful diffusion of consciousness” or “favorable disposition.” Citta is consciousness or state of mind, and prasadanam means infused with grace. When we practice these healing qualities, the mind is kept in a state of well being and life is better for us and for those around us.

    Maitri is friendliness toward those who are happy. How easy it is to become jealous of those who seem to have it all – a good marriage, a secure job, a lovely home or beautiful yoga postures. We may find ourselves wondering why we do not also have these things or find something to criticize about this person who appears to be prospering and enjoying life. Patanjali says that these attitudes disturb our minds and are based on false views. The marriage, the job and the home are all subject to change. Life has unexpected ups and downs. So when we see those who are happy, we should be friendly and good spirited toward them, hoping that happiness endures and helps them to come to a state of peace.

    Karuna is compassion toward those who are in pain. Compassion is different from pity in which we feel sorry for the person who is suffering, perhaps thinking that she brought this misery upon herself. Yogic wisdom suggests that we remember all the times we have been troubled and to extend empathy and sincere well wishes to those in pain. Compassion is the heartfelt wish that those who are suffering may be relieved and the motivation to provide whatever help is in our power to give.

    Mudita is rejoicing in the virtue and success of others. This may challenge us deeply as we see others achieve goals that we may be unable to reach. It is good to practice being glad when others have material wealth and security, but this sutra especially advises us to rejoice in virtuous action. Sometimes when people do what is right, we feel uncomfortable or criticized. We might consider this person to be self-righteous or impractical in his adherence to a seemingly rigid standard of ethical conduct. We can, instead, make space in our hearts to truly celebrate the good and noble qualities we see in each other. Taking delight in the praiseworthy actions of others brings peace of mind.

    Finally, Upeksa is impartiality toward those who indulge in wrongdoing. While sometimes translated as indifference, the sense of this sutra is that we are to refrain from judging others. Instead we can remember our own misdeeds and maintain a sense of equanimity toward the person engaged in misconduct. Even if we believe someone's actions to be negative, we should remain impartial and free of judgment, wishing only happiness for this person.

    The sage Patanjali has outlined how we can relate to people in various circumstances in a way that benefits both others and ourselves. Everyone enjoys being around people who are friendly, compassionate, joyful and non-judgmental. Through maiti, karuna, mudita and upeksa, we can continue the personal quest to develop a calm and tranquil mind. Over time, we may experience cittaprasadanam, the graceful disposition of consciousness.

Karen Allgire, MFA, RYT, is a Certified Iyengar Yoga Instructor. She has been teaching dance and movement since 1983 and yoga since 1998. Karen is co-director of Green Tara Yoga & Healing Arts in Cleveland Heights, Ohio. You can reach her at info@greentarayoga.com or (216) 382-0592.